Ah, original Shazam. What a cinematic masterpiece! The plot, the acting, the special effects...where to begin? Let's start with the riveting story - a teenage boy magically transforms into a grown man with superpowers. What an original and groundbreaking concept, I've never seen anything like it before.
The acting was also top-notch, especially from the child actors who really captured the essence of a superhero. And the villain, well, let's just say that Mark Strong's portrayal of Dr. Sivana was so menacing and intimidating that I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it was.
Speaking of ridiculous, let's talk about the special effects. The CGI was so bad that it made Sharknado look like a masterpiece. The flying scenes were particularly cringe-worthy, but hey, at least they tried, right?
And let's not forget about the humor. The constant jokes and one-liners were so hilarious that I almost forgot I was watching a superhero movie. I mean, who doesn't love a good fart joke in the middle of an action sequence?
The character development was also top-notch. I really felt like I got to know Billy Batson and his newfound family in the two hours and twelve minutes that I'll never get back. I especially loved how the movie tackled the serious issue of absentee parents by...making it a punchline. Brilliant.
But wait, there's more! Let's talk about the pacing. It was so slow and plodding that I felt like I was watching paint dry. And the climactic final battle? Well, let's just say that I've seen more exciting fights on the playground during recess.
In conclusion, Shazam is a cinematic triumph that everyone should see. If you're a fan of cringe-worthy special effects, juvenile humor, and a lackluster plot, then this is the movie for you. But if you're looking for something with substance, heart, and actual superhero action, then you should probably skip this one. Bravo, Shazam, bravo.